The hotMaMa Diaries

The hotMaMa Diaries

Everyone has a different experience of parenting and motherhood and there is no right or wrong path along this crazy journey. The hotMaMa diaries is a place to read stories from other mothers and even share your own!

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  1. Parenting is hard. Really hard. There are up's and down's. We do so much to protect our children, from the moment they are in our belly till our last breath. Unfortunately there are some things that are out of our control. I've read a few stories recently where parents have lost their children. Each time you read a story like that your heart breaks, but then after becoming a parent and reading something like that it hits you. it hits you hard. You can never feel what these parents go through, but you understand. We are parents. Parents who are reading every parents worst fear. I never know what to say if someone tells me about a loss of a child, its such a taboo subject, but it shouldn't be. I sometimes feel it best to listen, listen to them remember and live every memory again. We lost our first baby at 12 weeks pregnant. We were heartbroken, but it's not until you go through something like that, that you realise that it happens to so many women, yet you never hear of it unless you have physically gone through it. I don't get it? I remember a work colleague had lost her baby to cot death at 4 months old, i came back to work following our missed miscarriage and she was the only one that came upto me and say "i can't imagine what you are going through, i am so sorry" i just stared at her, my heart sunk. After what she had been through she was so compassionate, why? because she is a mum. A mum to a beautiful angel.

    We were blessed and went on to have two perfect baby boys. Again, you don't realise how lucky you are to be able to conceive and carry a child naturally. We have friends who are going through their second round of IVF, as they were telling me what they have to go through, a pang of guilt ran through me. Guilt that i have been lucky to fall pregnant with my two boys naturally, that Grayson wasn't planned and he just happened, and i feel like shit when i say that to people, especially people who struggle to fall. I think end up sitting there thinking about how i take it for granted. I feel selfish. I know my friend will probably read this and think I'm a wally, but my heart goes out to them, every single person who has to go through so much for something i sometimes take for granted on a daily basis.

    I'm not sure what the reason for this post is, it's just something that has played on my mind.

    There is so much judgement around parenting. It's so wrong and puts so much pressure and anxiety on mums. Whether you had a natural birth or c-section, whether you bottle feed of breast feed, co-sleep or put baby in their cot, jar feed or make all your dinners from scratch, use organic food or freezer food, rememeber this. You are perfect. You have come into parenthood blind sighted - no one prepares you for what happens once you get your baby home. Your children adore you, you are their queens. As long as you and your children are happy thats all that matters. Screw society, do what's right for you and your baby. Not anyone else.

    Anyone can judge from the outside, but until their living it, their opinion is nothing.

    A x

     

    I am a stay at home mum. I has two boys aged 4 and 2 and a crazy cockapoo. Married to my soul mate. Welcome to our fun parenting life, follow us for all our ups and downs.  Read more from me at:

    Instagram: ashleigh_justamummy 
  2. 1

    We have all seen the baby milestone cards, baby’s first smile, first tooth, first steps. This got me thinking about all the mummy milestones.

    The difference between baby and mummy milestones is that the baby ones are things you are expecting to celebrate, I mean who was not the proudest parent when your little bundle of joy gave you their first gummy smile. Mummy milestones on the other hand our completely different……..

    1. Using the bathroom alone.This one I am still waiting to happen, but I’ve been told it will happen eventually and it is A.M.A.Z.I.N.G. I can not wait to have a pee in peace without the threenager, the cat or the husband coming to see what I am doing.

    2. Using a bag for just my crap. Do you remember those pre child days where your handbag only contained the essentials, phone, purse, keys and Lippy. Now my handbag resembles Mary Poppins magic bag. I can’t tell you the amount of times I have pulled a pull-up out of my bag in the Tesco que when looking for my purse.

    3. Going to bed at a normal hour. How many of you mummies stay up much later then you should just to get some much needed “me time”. I often stay up until some stupid hour to watch “just one more episode” or find myself dicking around on Facebook/Instagram and instantly regret it when the 6am alarm clock is poking me in the head telling me the sun is up.

    4. Wearing something that isn’t stretchy or practical. My wardrobe mainly consists of leggings, stretchy jeans and stripped tops, the standard mummy uniform. When you wear something fitted and smart you feel like a new woman even if you haven’t washed your hair for 5 days and still have Mondays make up on.

    5. Doing a food shop without anyone throwing a tantrum. Remember those days before kids when the weekly shop was a chore and you dreaded it? Well doing the weekly shop with a tired/hungry/grumpy 3 year old is a new kind of hell. There is shouting (me) tears (sometimes me) and general frustration (also me). But sometimes your darling hubby whispers those magic words to you “I’ll stay at home with the kid you go shopping” These magic words have the same effect as Tom Hardy saying he is going to cook you dinner naked. 2 WHOLE hours alone, browsing oh how I have missed browsing. Actually having time to think about what you need instead of grabbing random stuff in a blind panic just so you can get out without a scene being caused!

    I’m hopeful that one day in the not to distant future I will have achieved all my milestones but at the moment I’d be happy with using the bathroom in peace!

    I’d love to hear your mummy milestones.

    Mummy Em x

    Emma is a mama of one curly haired little girl called Chloe. Married to Mr D. Working full time and trying to juggle everything ????  Read more from her at:

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