The hotMaMa Diaries Blog - Breastfeeding blog and parenting blog
Everyone has a different experience of parenting and motherhood and there is no right or wrong path along this crazy journey. The hotMaMa diaries is a place to read stories from other mothers and even share your own!
This meme that Clare sent me on Facebook made me laugh so hard, for a few reasons.
Firstly, because im actually 7 years old and i laugh at very simple things, and secondly because its so true.
I find that at this moment in my life with Sofia (Our 2 week old baby girl) im quite lucky, and why you may ask? well the answer is simple, boobs! Clare is breastfeeding Sofia so this means that i dont have to get up during the night and do the dreaded bottle feeding!
its not to say that i havent been up once or twice with a bottle of breastmilk, but Sofia just refuses to take the bottle full stop.
Memes and more sleep aside, this made me sit down and think about breastfeeding in a little more depth.
We have flirted with breastfeeding our two boys before but them simply refused and preferred the formula, but this led to reflux, baby vomit, and trapped wind and so on, things that were just awful, and especially when its your first child, can be stressful.
But this time, its different, its more relaxed, theres no vomit, theres no reflux, theres no standing in the kitchen making bottles at 3am and coating my arm with milk to make sure the temperature is right!
Sofia is calm, she lets out one or two small cries to indicate she is hungry, she feeds until she is full and content. She is getting more nutrients than she could ever possibly get from formula AND ITS NATURAL!
Clare and I talked about breastfeeding all during this pregnancy and i fully support it, but initially, i was feeling weird, its almost like a stigma than some men have! but being fully on board with it, i do envy how close Clare and Sofia have become because of this, an important thing in the early weeks of both of their lives!
But here in the UK there seems to be an issue surrounding public breastfeeding, and even social experiments have been carried out to highlight the issue! I even seen a facebook video where a lady feeding her baby was subjected to verbal abuse from two men, and another fella stood up for her and physically man handled the two abusers from the train at the next stop, unfortunately they got the guy arrested for assault i believe, but this was subsequently quashed in court.
In an instance God forbid this happened to Clare i would certainly stand up for her, and if i wasnt there i would certainly hope someone else would step up.
and ive taken some benefits from the NHS website which i have the link for you to look at:
So guys, if your partner is or wants to breastfeed, be supportive, be strong and help her! if she wants to change to formula, be assertive that she is doing a wonderful job, and encourage her to continue without being forceful!
I’ve never really opened up about my fears for having 2 children under 2, mainly because no one has asked how I feel about becoming a mum of 2 under 2 and another reason is because I’m the sort of person who keeps things locked away until it fizzles me down and someone eventually asks me, “what’s up” but even then I make the issue as vague as possible to avoid the inevitable pity.
I’m not sure whether it’s all these extra hormones that are making me fear the birth of baby S more; probably is, but I just wanted to share with you how I feel now so that, if there are any other mummies out there, that are expecting their 2nd baby soon, maybe you can share this post with them so hopefully this can help them and give them a sense of relief knowing they’re not alone when it comes to worrying over the littlest things.
Getting out and about with 2 under 2
This has been a constant fear of mine since I first found out that I was pregnant with my second baby, luckily we have a double pram now thanks to my very generous mum, but what’s worrying me is if I’ll be able to push the tandem pram up the massive hill which we live on, and if I’ll be able to manage to get on and off public transport, since me nor my partner can drive, I know it’s going to be more of a struggle but we’ll just have to persevere until Logan is old enough to be able to walk around without the pushchair, as he currently still has 1 nap a day.
Will my toddler’s sleep regress?
Another fear I have is L’s sleeping, he currently has a great routine, he sleeps through all of the night pretty much and we don’t hear of him until he wakes up at 6/6.30 am and if we’re lucky 7 am. What’s worrying me is if his sleep messes up when baby S arrives, will he start night waking again if/when hears baby crying etc. It’s going to a lot more difficult for me to see to both kiddies especially when it’s just me getting up as rob will be working most mornings (after paternity leave). Please, can someone reassure me that this isn’t the case and he will still sleep through! >.<
Small age gap
An obvious concern I have, as with any age gap i suppose has its pros and cons, but I’ve heard from a lot of people that having 2 children closer together is more hard work than having 2 children who are older in age, but I guess every family is different and I may find that i love having the closer age gap, i mean it was my plan initially anyway, we’re not getting any younger are we. L will be about 19 months old when baby S arrives, so I’m hoping that he is a bit more understanding by then, because at the moment he doesn’t understand the current situation with mummies growing belly.
Being a young (ish) couple with a toddler is not that expensive really, as long as he’s fed and has new trainers when he needs them and the other expenses like nappies and wet wipes, it’s quite manageable. But the fears come when I start overthinking the whole situation, can we afford to have another baby? Then I remember, i have kept a lot of L’s baby clothes so that’s saved us a heck of a lot of money in the long run. The only things we really need to purchase for baby S is the larger more expensive items like a breast pump and Moses basket/baby bean bag as i really would like one of them for when baby naps during the day, and it’s quite transportable, so if we go to my mums then he can nap on the bean bag instead of lugging around the tandem pram.
Coping with having a toddler and a newborn
Something else that has been playing on my mind is, how will I cope with having a toddler and a newborn? The fear of Rob going back to work after paternity leave is too much to think about right now, and I’m just praying that we get into some sort of routine before he goes back to work because the first day being a solo mum of 2 is going to hit me like a tonne of bricks i can imagine. What do I do when baby S is crying and L wants me at the same time? Will I be able to do anything for myself, e.g. make a brew, or even eat/cook etc.
Will my toddler still love me when newborn arrives
This has been a fear of mine for a while too, not that I’ve read a horror story on the internet or anything. And I’m sure L will love his new baby brother, right? Or am i being too optimistic? I just hope that L doesn’t start getting jealous, or hitting/smacking me or the baby to vent his frustration that he won’t be the only child anymore. I will try to avoid this by getting L involved with baby S as much as possible and trying to play with L while baby naps, and will be a bonus if i get them both to nap at the same time! #parentingwin
On top of all the above fears, this has to be the one that i’m worried/anxious about the most, because it’s a completely new concept to me as i bottle fed L, so In that respect it’ll be like im a new mummy all over again, and that’s terrifying! I’m scared that I won’t be producing enough milk or the latch is wrong every time, and end up with mastitis. I fear that Logan will need me at night when i’m feeding baby S, is it ok to send daddy in to see to L if he has work next day? I fear that people will judge me and give me dirty looks if i’m feeding out in public, especially the first time, that’s the worst part for me, not knowing what to expect!
All in all, after all is said, I am more excited about the arrival of our second baby boy. I’m looking forward to the bond that L and S will share (once L has warmed up to the baby ofcourse). I’m excitied for all our future family adventures, days out and the first smiles and giggles, and more importantly i’m excited to become a family of 4 (5 if you count the cat!) lol
I hope you all enjoyed reading this, and if you are expecting another little bundle soon, i’d love to hear your thoughts, do you share any of the same fears? And if you have recently become a family a mummy/daddy of 2 under 2 how are you finding it? What are you’re greatest struggles so far?