The hotMaMa Diaries Blog - Breastfeeding blog and parenting blog

Breastfeeding and parenting blog

Everyone has a different experience of parenting and motherhood and there is no right or wrong path. The hotMaMa diaries is a place to read stories from other mothers and even share your own!

To be featured on the hotMaMa Diaries contact us an email to [email protected]

lactation award

 RSS Feed

  1. October is one of my favourite months of the year, I love the subtle change in season that seems to creep in around about now, leaving the September sun behind and transitioning into misty mornings and earlier nights.

    The trees are desperately trying to protect and keep hold of their flame coloured leaves but, sadly they are pre-destined to fall and blanket the ground.

    Like those trees, 1 in 4 women feel the loneliness of ‘secret’ grief.

    Breastfeeding Blog and Parenting Blog

     

     have two beautiful and boisterous boys who fill my days with noise, dirt and infectious laughter and I’m due my third in a matter of days. BUT, this doesn’t mean that I don’t ever think of my other two babies that I never met.

    I am currently a very fragile mix of hormones, excitement and nervous energy as I wait for signs of my impending labour. This October feels very different for me, and I think that’s a good thing as it will be a birthday month, a reason to celebrate.

    Before I enter the craziness of caring for three boys aged 4 and under, I’d like to reflect and tell my story of losing the two tiny lives, that for a very small window of time, existed within my own body. Two little ones that I failed to protect and keep safe…one of the most basic requirements of being a mother.

    My Lost Pregnancy

    I always wanted a sibling for Stanley, I never envisioned him as an only child. So, when we found out we were expecting again I was naturally over the moon. I did exactly what I’d done with Stanley, a home test then doctors appointment to confirm, followed by my booking appointment with the midwife. I’ve never smoked, I stopped drinking as soon as that little blue line appeared, and took my folic acid daily.

    As the weeks crept by, we kept our little secret until the 12 week ‘safe zone’ was in sight. It fell around Christmas time so I made a plan (Ben just goes along with me when it comes to things like this…I’ve never been one to shy away from putting the effort in) to announce the pregnancy to close friends and family via a homemade Christmas card featuring my little Stan the Man.

    Breastfeeding Blog and Parenting Blog

     

    Everyone loved the announcement cards, who wouldn’t?…just look at Stanley all big smiles and tiny toes. Super cute!

    Christmas came and went, and we were thrust into the new year. I had been suffering from morning sickness, something I’d never experienced while pregnant with Stanley, and I felt ‘different’ not something I could put my finger on, just different. I knew I was carrying a boy from the start with Stan, just call it Mother’s intuition as I had absolutely no evidence whatsoever, until I was proved correct at the 20 week scan. This time however, I ‘knew’ it was a girl.

    *YOU MAY FIND THE FOLLOWING DETAILS UPSETTING*

    BUT, I want to write a truthful account of my experience.

    The Bubble Burst

    Then, on the 5th January my little pregnancy bubble was burst in the worst way possible. I was 14 weeks by now. I felt tired, weak and queasy. I rested and that evening after Ben had put Stanley to bed I lay on the sofa, and took paracetamol as I had back ache. Nothing too out of the ordinary, nothing to cause alarm.

    I needed the bathroom and stood up and that’s when I realised something was terribly wrong. I could feel a warmth running down my legs. I ran to the bathroom, leaving a trail of blood and a shell shocked hubby in my wake. I was numb, I knew what was happening but adrenaline took over and I went for the practical side of things, stripped off and sat on the toilet waiting for the initial ‘gush’ to subside. Except, it didn’t. I layered up thick maternity pads and quickly shoved on knickers and leggings. I remember telling Ben that we needed to go to the hospital (talk about stating the obvious) and asking him to ring my mum so she could come over to watch Stanley. I remember that I was yawning a lot, my ears were ringing and my vision was becoming tunnelled. Blood was still seeping through all my sanitary protection and out through my clothes, I couldn’t keep up with it.

    Blue Lights

    The next thing I remember is two first responders leaning over me, they were talking but I couldn’t hear them properly. Then paramedics burst in. I was put into the back of an ambulance and blue lighted up to the hospital. Ben had to stay until my Mum & Dad arrived because of Stanley. I remember hoping that he hadn’t been woken up with all the commotion. Afterwards, my Mum and Dad told me that they saw the ambulance come flying past them as they were heading to my house. Mum said it was awful knowing ‘her little girl’ was in there, which just goes to show that us mums never stop worrying about our children, no matter how old they are.

    If you’ve read my Pregnancy Ponderings post you’ll know that our hospital is roughly 15 miles away. I think that distance doubled that night as it seemed to take forever to get there. I was taken on the trolley into A&E and placed in a corridor with approximately 10 others. The paramedics left me and I was alone and waiting. Blood by now was seeping into the sheets and mattress I was lying on. I felt hugely embarrassed as it was painfully obviously where the blood was coming from…I felt ashamed. By this point I was getting cold and again must have fainted a couple of times. Then, Ben was stood next to me but I have no memory of him getting there.

    Part 1

    I was moved into an examination room. I’m a bit hazy on the details but I can remember telling the nurses that I was going to pass out. The bed was tilted back so that my feet were higher than my head. After answering a few questions I was transferred over to the Maternity Assessment Unit.

    Up until this point, nobody had mentioned, pregnancy, miscarriage, loss or the baby.

    Again, due to the lack of beds I was put in a chair and told we were waiting for a sonographer to become available. This was the point at which my heart broke and the tears came hard and fast. I knew what I was facing and deep down I knew that the scan wouldn’t pick up a heartbeat there had been too much blood….so, it just seemed unesscessarily CRUEL that I was now sat with only 6 flimsy curtains separating me from other mums to be, that were all hooked up to monitoring equipment.

    I could hear 6 happy and healthy heartbeats in stereo, it was deafening!

    I sat there with my baby that had probably already died, or was dying inside of me, still bleeding heavily and was forced to listen to the sound I was praying I would hear from my own womb. It was a relief to be called into the scan room. The scan was performed, the room was absolutely silent (a complete contrast to the corridor) nothing was said to us apart from the fact that they were keeping me in and I would be taken to the Forget me Not suite.

    Breastfeeding Blog and Parenting Blog

     

    Part 2

    Once settled into one of the rooms on the Forget-me-Not suite (charity based), I was introduced to Liz, one of the bereavement midwives who would be caring for me during my stay. This lady was love, care and sensitivity personified. She wiped my tears and stroked my head. I was still losing a lot of blood and she hooked me up to drips, binned my clothes and just generally saw to my needs without fuss.

    My nightmare wasn’t over by any means, just as I was feeling a bit more with it and had managed a cup of tea (so stereotypically British, but always readily available during a crisis). I needed the bathroom and with Ben’s help shuffled over to the en-suite, Liz had already advised me to leave the door open and that I wasn’t allowed to flush as they would check for clots etc. I can’t remember anything until I woke up back in the bed wearing an oxygen mask with an alarm blazing and approximately 20 medical staff around my bed including someone with a defibrillator trolley to my right. Liz was saying ‘STAY WITH US EMMA’ loudly and somebody was putting something cold into my arm, I felt it travel up my vein.

    I tried to look for Ben, Liz must have noticed as she told me he was here on the chair in the corner, and stepped aside so that I could see. The person I saw wasn’t my hubby, Mr Yorkshire and he of stern stuff and few words had gone…a small frightened figure, head in hands with grey skin sat in his place and it scared more than anything that had happened up to that point.

    I must have gone out again or perhaps I just fell asleep, I’m not sure as the whole thing is still foggy and a bit surreal to me now.

    The next time I woke, I felt better but weak and bone weary. Lifting my head off the pillow required energy I just didn’t have. My bloods and observations were done again. Consent forms were brought in and signed by Ben. Blood was ordered. I had no idea of the time or even what day it was by now. Still nobody had mentioned the baby or said the word miscarriage…I found this really strange and it all added to the dream like state I found myself in. As I regained strength my thoughts turned to my little boy at home, and I ached for him. Ben gave my Mum & Dad the all clear to visit with him. It gave me the boost I needed, nothing beats a cuddle from a toddler!!

    Mum, Dad, Ben and Stanley went home together late afternoon. Ben with instructions to bring in clothes for me…I had lost everything I had been wearing! I stayed in again overnight and slept like a baby inbetween the obs rounds. Liz popped in every now and again to check on me and to make me a cuppa, so that I didn’t have to leave my bed. She also found me a phone charger so that I could ring Ben and say goodnight to Stanley. It was the little things like that, that meant so much.

    Breastfeeding Blog and Parenting Blog

     

    The next morning, I was visited by a consultant and finally I was informed that my baby had died. I was also told that all the ‘foetal matter’ and ‘products of conception‘ had come away naturally and that I wouldn’t need a D&C thankfully.

    I was given leaflets on cremation and my rights to religious/humanist services etc, unbelievably I was looking at funeral arrangements for my baby. I signed the nesscessary consent forms and put them on the bedside table.

    By this point Ben had arrived back and we were waiting for my discharge to be arranged. Liz mentioned in passing that I’d haemorrhaged twice and lost a huge amount of blood causing me to go into Hypovolemic shock, which was life threatening and made some sense of the room full of people I’d witnessed.

    To this day, I don’t know if all this was explained to Ben as it was happening, because he’s never really spoken about it and I’ve never really pushed him on it. But, thinking back to the man I saw sitting in that room, I’m guessing he had a good idea of the state of play.

    Even now I find it hard to explain how I was feeling. I wasn’t overly upset, as in I wasn’t crying or showing any outward signs of distress. I felt ‘light’, my head felt fuzzy, my legs were like jelly. I felt numb. I wasn’t thinking about the baby I’d lost, I just desperately wanted to get home to the one I already had. I can’t describe how much I’d missed him. I was also worried about my Mum & Dad, they’d had to deal with a lot. I had a vague recollection of the state the house was in as I left, and I knew they’d would have had to clean all that up to protect Stanley from seeing it. I was also worried about the strain it had put on them, I was their daughter afterall and they’d just lost a grandchild too. Dad was also really poorly and receiving treatment for Leaukaemia…he’d been diagnosed a year ago to the day I took my ambulance ride, 5th January has not been kind to my family.

    On a lighter ‘it could only happen to me note’ Ben had forgotten to bring me any shoes up, so I had to walk out of hospital wearing just his socks and Ben was sockless under his boots. The ‘Clampets’ were finally going home!

    Home Sweet Home

    Once back, I rested up, sleep was my friend. Flowers and cards arrived. People said kind words, and wrote lovely sentiments. A couple of close friends (you know who you are ladies) brought a mix of homemade and convenience food…enough to fill the fridge and freezer, along with cake, chocolate, candles, an adult colouring book to keep my mind busy and took Stanley out…I can’t tell you how much that meant to me at the time.

    Most people, and I don’t mean this as a criticism, moved on as if I was never really pregnant in the first place. I found that quite difficult to deal with, although I completely understood that it hadn’t happened to them, and that life doesn’t just stop.

    Ben didn’t want to talk about it really, and that was his way of dealing with it all, which I understood too. It did us all good to get back to some normality, I suppose. In some respects I think he had the worst deal, he had already lost his unborn child and had faced losing his wife too. I can’t imagine how scared he must have been, I was in the thick of it and can’t remember much but Ben had witnessed it all, ALONE. I will never forget that solid unwavering support from the man who became the rock we all now cling to.

    He bought me a simple gift, and that said more than any upsetting conversations between us ever could. We had a cute, crazy toddler to love and look after so we muddled on together.

    Breastfeeding Blog and Parenting Blog

     

    There were physical after affects for me, I was given iron tablets and had to inject myself into my tummy for a month afterwards. Writing this now, 3 years on I don’t know what those injections were for. Which only goes to show that the whole thing left me a bit dazed and confused like I was there but at 50% opacity.

    My bloods have never been right since, I often have to take iron now and I have low blood pressure which then significantly drops in pregnancy.

    I hope I haven’t over shared and put you off, I wanted to give a true account of what I went through. It wasn’t nice and it certainly wasn’t pretty. I experienced two very different levels of care within the same hospital, I can’t remember the names of anyone who ‘handled’ me apart from Liz which just goes to show that kindness really is key to making a difference.

    Some people reading this will be my friends and family members and I’m aware that it might be the first time they will really have had the chance to understand what we went through. I felt like nobody wanted to talk about it, and I didn’t want to upset anyone so I naturally kept a lot of it to myself.

    The one thing I really regret is being so spaced out at the hospital that I never asked them if they knew the baby’s sex. I still feel angry with myself for that, even now. When I think of this baby though I always think of a girl but it’s hard not knowing for sure and it meant that we couldn’t name either.

    Pregnancy After Loss

    I went on to have James, my little ray of sunshine and whirlwind of mischief. My early pregnancy was tainted with the worry that I could lose again. I was naturally wary about telling people as I didn’t want to appear ‘foolish‘ if it didn’t result in a baby yet again…which sounds completely bonkers but I feel there’s still a level of embarrassment and failure associated with miscarriage.

    I’ve never referred to James as a ‘rainbow baby’ as has become the trend for babies born after a loss. I know people find comfort in the term (a rainbow being the bright and beautiful result of the sun shining after the storm has passed) but I wanted James to just be my little Jimbob in his own right and not attached to anything or anyone.

    Unfortunately between having James and my current pregnancy, I lost again. This time it was a completely different experience, but I was no better prepared.

    Round 2

    My much loved Dad passed away Aug 2017, after losing his battle with Acute Myeloid Leaukaemia…believe me, he had put up one hell of a fight.

    I was organising arrangements with my mum, James was 6 months at the time and Stanley was now 3. I felt a bit off but to be honest, grief and stress had played their part, and I was a bit run down.

    With everything that had been going on, I couldn’t remember when I’d last had my period and they were still a bit irregular after having James so I wasn’t concerned and never even gave pregnancy a thought.

    While at my Mum’s one day I had to go and have a lie down, I took paracetamol because I had stomach cramps and I slept for a few hours. I woke up feeling better and fully expecting to come on my period at anytime. Sure enough, I started bleeding and that was that.

    I bled heavily, but not uncontrollably for around 4 days. I put it down to a ‘nasty one’, we’ve all had them, the month that seems worse than the others and knocks you about a bit…nothing I couldn’t handle and thought it was my body getting back on track after having James. Towards the end I passed quite a few clots but again, nothing too drastic.

    The following day the bleeding had all but stopped and off I went to the supermarket to do a food shop, both boys in tow. I did the shopping, paid and went into the cafe because I felt a bit faint. After a hot drink and juice for Stan I felt better but had a numb feeling ‘down there’ I went into the disabled toilet, both boys (still strapped into the trolley) along with all the food came in with me…not the most hygienic but what choice did I have?

    I sat on the toilet and prepared to change my pad but there wasn’t really any blood on the one I was wearing. I then passed something, I stood up and looked into the toilet. I was looking at a very tiny foetus. I know this sounds completely unbelievable but it had an eye and was shaped like a kidney bean, there was nothing else it could have been.

    Breastfeeding Blog and Parenting Blog

     

    I swallowed the panic that had rose, along with the acid in my throat and got myself dressed. I wasn’t bleeding, apart from a few cramps and the weird numbness I wasn’t in any pain and I was in a supermarket toilet with two boys. I took a couple of photos, and then flushed the toilet. I washed my hands, left the toilet, packed the shopping and kids into the car and drove home.

    I did text the photo to my Mum and sister and also to Ben to get their opinions. I also googled to see how far along ‘it’ was.

    And, to my shame that’s all I really did about it, I rang my GP and requested a call back from the nurse. I explained what had happened. She said it sounded like a missed miscarriage, and that I should come in to get checked over within the next few days. I didn’t. I didn’t want to bring it all to the surface again plus I had bigger things to deal with on the horizon, namely my Dad’s funeral.

    Obviously, if I had started bleeding or felt unwell then I would have gone straight in but after the cramps had subsided that evening, I felt fine. So I filed it in my brain under ‘deal with it later’ and, that’s where it has remained until I wrote this post.

    Summary

    I’m now waiting on my third boy to make an appearance and throw our lives into chaos (in a good way) once again. This will be my last pregnancy and baby, marking the end of my ‘baby making’ years. Our family will be complete.

    Yet, I’m still in two minds whether to publish this post (it’s sat as a draft for a few days now, and I keep re-reading and editing bits). I still feel ashamed and guilty for losing my babies. I know that there was nothing I could do to stop it and that I did nothing wrong. But still, it niggles.

    I’ve told my story as part of the campaign to take the stigma away from miscarriage and still birth. We need to talk about it more and change the way we act.

    For more information, click the link below:

    Baby loss-awareness.org

    Sands charity

    #talkaboutit #breakthesilence #waveoflight #babyloss #miscarriage #infantloss #stillbirth #SANDS

    *******************

     

    Read more from Emma at: https://dirtdiggersanddinosaurs.com/

  2.  Breastfeeding Support, Breastfeeding Blog, Parenting Blog, Breastfeeding he

    Breastfeeding is hard.  There's not reason to go it alone, if you're feeling stressed, overwhelmed or just have a few queries there are loads of places you can go to get some support:

    Association of Breastfeeding Mothers

    www.abm.me.uk

    Tel: 0300 330 5453

    Voluntary mum-to-mum support, counselling and information for breastfeeding women.

    Association of Tongue-tie Practitioners

    www.tongue-tie.org.uk

    Find an NHS or private health professionals specialising in tongue-tie.

    Baby Cafe

    www.thebabycafe.org

    Coordinates a network of breastfeeding drop-in centres and other support services.

    Baby Milk Action

    www.babymilkaction.org

    Campaigns for the ethical marketing of breastmilk substitutes.

    Best Beginnings

    www.bestbeginnings.org.uk

    Offers information and support to help every baby in the UK have the healthiest possible start in life.

    Biological Nurturing (laid back breastfeeding)

    www.biologicalnurturing.com

     

    Information and resources to support laid-back breastfeeding, a positionthat helps to tap into babies' natural feeding reflexes.

    Bliss

    www.bliss.org.uk

    Tel: 0808 8801 0322

    Emotional and practical advice for parents of babies born sick or premature.

    Breastfeeding Network

    www.breastfeedingnetwork.org.uk

    Tel: 0300 100 0212

    Independent source of support and information for breastfeeding women, and those involved in their care. 

    Lactation Consultants of Great Britain

    www.lcgb.org

    The professional association for qualified lactation consultants. Members of the association provide advice, support and consultations on breastfeeding in the UK.

    La Leche League

    www.laleche.org.uk

    Tel: 0345 120 2918 

    Counselling, advice and information on breastfeeding, plus local group meetings.

    Maternity Action

    www.maternityaction.org.uk

    Tel: 0845 600 85 33

    Provides information about breastfeeding and working.

    National Breastfeeding Helpline

    www.nationalbreastfeedinghelpline.org.uk

    Tel: 0300 100 0212

    Staffed by trained volunteer mums from the Association of Breastfeeding Mothers and the Breastfeeding Network. Support via online chat and phone. Lines are open 9.30am to 9.30pm, every day. Also offers information on breastfeeding, one-to-one local support, and information about drugs and breastmilk.

    NCT

    www.nct.org.uk

    Tel: 0300 330 0700 (Option 1)

    Information on feeding your baby. Offers trained breastfeeding counsellors for individual advice and support.

    UK Association for Milk Banking

    www.ukamb.org

    Supports human milk banking in the UK to provide safe and screened donor breastmilk for babies who are premature or unwell.

    UNICEF UK Baby Friendly Initiative

    www.unicef.org.uk/babyfriendly

    Works with the health services to enable and support parents to make informed choices about how they feed and care for their babies. Provides information and advice on the benefits of breastfeeding.

  3. wbw2019_logo

    World Breastfeeding Week is celebrated every year from 1 to 7 August all over the globe to encourage breastfeeding and improve the health of babies around the world. 

    It's been great to see so much going on all over social media to support WBW19.  Just in case you wanted a bit more information we've covered it in this month's blog post.

     

    "Empower Parents. Enable Breastfeeding."

    The theme for 2019 World Breastfeeding Week (WBW) is - Empower Parents. Enable Breastfeeding. ILCA is partnering with organizations around the globe - including United Nations Children's Fund (UNICEF), World Health Organization (WHO), International Baby Food Action Network (IBFAN), La Leche League International (LLLI), The Academy of Breastfeeding Medicine (ABM), Wellstart International, the Global Goals, and the World Alliance for Breastfeeding Action (WABA) - to promote the role that breastfeeding plays in valuing our wellbeing.

    Breastfeeding is a universal solution that levels the playing field, giving everyone a fair start in life.
    It improves the health, wellbeing and survival of women and children around the world.

    wbw2019-infographic

  4. I get so many comments usually from the older generations such as my grandparents and their friends about my life, I think they forget it is mine to live and I understand they may mean well however I wish they would understand it is my life. Now I have 4 children with a range of ages as that is just how life happened so I have a 10, 8, 6 and 20 month old. They are fabulous kids and I love them to bits however being a mum is not the only thing I am. I am also a wife and I make time for my husband, we have monthly, sometimes even fortnight dates if we can get babysitters and we have something to do or go see. It doesn't have to be a long date or anything brilliant just a game of bowling or a cinema show where we just go out as a couple with no kids and we chat to each other, we kiss, hold hands and just enjoy each others company. Now we have been married nearly 2 years so probably in the honeymoon stage still but I love that we make time for each other and the reason we do is just that when the children grow older and then leave home, what if you don't like the person you have spent the last 18 years living with? What if you have nothing in common or don't really talk to know each other. Even if you can't go out because you don't have a babysitter just put the kids to bed or in different rooms and enjoy just a meal together or have a nice massage with each other, play a board game or just have a drink and a dance in the living room but spend the time on your relationship. 

     
    Work - My grandma hates me working for some reason. She loves and is so proud that I completed University while having 4 kids at home but then when I am in employment she feels I should be at home with the children, like I should feel guilty for being a working mum and I do see this from both sides however I work part time so my older kids know which days I am home. I am around to take them to their classes, I try and move my shifts and days to accommodate when they are on Celebration chairs or when they have plays at school so I can get involved however they know there will be times I cannot attend these things and having a good chat with the kids about work is helpful, explaining to them it doesn't mean you don't love them but you go to work because you need the money to provide opportunities, to pay for extra classes, their hobbies, their birthday parties or even just for rent or a mortgage. I work because I enjoy it, because it gives me a break from the kids and because I have worked hard to learn things that I want to put to good use, I don't have time for an 18 year career break and why should I have to when I can work part time and still be at home some days to get the cleaning done and catch up on the mountains of washing we go through as a family of 6. I won't feel guilty for trying to provide a better live and nicer holidays for my kids and my truth is explaining to them more about money so they understand how work and money goes hand in hand so they are more knowledgeable when they grow up and so they understand more about why I am not their sometimes. I grew up where my dad worked 60-70 hours a week, we had great Christmas and Birthday presents but we hardly ever saw my dad. Him and my mum just did things separately on weekends and they divorced when I was 11 so this is why I like my husband to do his 40 hours and then we are hope to be as a family getting this quality time together. 
     
    Breastfeeding Blog, breastfeeding clothes, breastfeeding dress, breastfeeding tops
     
    Friends - I feel like I have never really had a lot of friends, I have had acquaintances and don't get me wrong I have tried to make friends but I find it quite an effort sometimes so the people I have as friends are usually just those I can be myself around and even though I don't have many of them - Probably 3 good friends if I am honest and we don't see each other all that much I know that when we get together we can say and do anything and we will just get each other, everything is easy from choosing where to go, what activity to do and we all just get on with it and have a laugh doing it so essentially we arrange meet ups probably twice a year or more if there are some local strippers on as that is guaranteed to get other acquaintances out as sometimes it is really difficult to get mummy friends out - They almost hibernate all year round and may come out once in the summer, which is fine but I need my friend time sometimes, time to get drunk, dance, party and just have a laugh and a moan about the men in our lives, or the kid dramas we have. 
     
    Breastfeeding Blog, breastfeeding clothes, breastfeeding dress, breastfeeding tops
     
    Hobbies - Now I have never been one for too many hobbies. My parents never really pushed me to try any clubs or activities. I was good at Netball and always picked first because I was tall. I did swimming classes and got my lifesaver award but that was as far as I wanted to take it. I was a good academic child, I learnt and had a passion for reading and wanting to better myself. I enjoyed learning and finance and business and as I grew older I had an interest in property. My hobbies when I was a teen involved a lot of karaoke and drinking and relaxing with friends shopping and attending the cinema. When I became a mum I didn't have time for hobbies, I tried a local line dancing class and then a Zumba class, I tried the gym, cycling, home exercise, a dance class and even kick boxing and circuit classes but none I ever stuck to. I just don't have the motivation for those sorts of things. Which is why I am glad I re-found Netball quite recently. I haven't played for around 14 years however it was great to be put in a team and now if I don't go I will feel like I am letting my team down, we play weekly matches every week and we have noticed we are getting a lot stronger. I think I have finally found the hobby for me. 
     
    So you see a Mum isn't the only thing I am, and I don't want to feel guilty for having other interests and letting my hair down once in a while because I am still Gemma, a wife, a daughter, a netball league team player, an employee and also a girlfriend to my friends - And as much as I love my children the fact I have other interests is great as well as they see me supporting them financially, they gain a good work ethic and hopefully interests in sports will inspire the to stick to their hobbies and develop those. 
     
    Written by Gem at  www.yorkshiremumof4.com
     
  5. Breastfeeding Blog

    The mum tum is wobbly and wrinkled with rolls.

    The mum tum is saggy and stretched with folds.

     

    The mum tum can make you feel more self aware.

    “If I wear that tight top will anyone stare?”

     

    The mum tum can make us feel shame of our size.

    We squeeze into control pants what we want to hide.

     

    We are jealous of others who are only too happy to say

    They used to have a mum tum but then it went away!

     

    “Why is she so slim?”

    “What am I doing wrong?”

    All too often woman are singing this song.

     

    Stretch marks or tiger stripes, call them what you choose

    Either way scars are souvenirs that you never lose.

     

    A reminder of the unspeakable gift that you grew inside.

    A gift that is denied to so many who have tried and tried.

     

    A gift that you nourished, kept safe and warm.

    This gift never felt pain, shame, sadness or scorn.

     

    A gift that once in this world to them you became

    The most perfect being who could ever be named!

     

    Your mum tum was soft where they laid their head

    Comforted by your smell and the words that you said.

     

    The very fact that this miracle was born alive

    Is a blessing that to many is tragically denied.

     

    I hope you can see how special you are.

    How blessed you have been to have come this far.

     

    To have flourished new life in the depths of your being.

    To have been blessed with the growing reminder that you are daily seeing.

     

    It is an emotional journey becoming a mum.

    And the wonder of it all is so much more than your tum!

     

    So take comfort in the knowledge that you are not alone.

    When your child hugs your tum remember that was their first home.

     

    When you look in the mirror smile and feel proud

    For you have grown brand new humans for crying out loud!

     

    My body reminds me of joy and of loss.

    And how my arms ached for a baby I wanted whatever the cost.

     

    If the cost of a baby is a sag here and there

    I will take it and own it and see beauty there

     

    Your tum is a reminder of how far you have come

    On this miraculous journey of becoming a mum.

    xx

    ************

    Read more from Jo at https://freshbreadandfaith.wordpress.com/

  6. No one told me that one of the side effects of having a new baby was stiffness like all get out in the upper body and shoulders! It's chronic in the first few years. I remember being 5 or 6 months postpartum and catching sight of myself in the mirror: my shoulders were rounded and hunched forward, and I seemed to be working on a pretty impressive Dowager's hump for someone in their thirties. *grimace face*

    When we teach our regular postnatal workshops, this is a common complaint. The many hours we spend holding, rocking, cuddling, and milking our babes in the front plane of the body result in tiredness, tightness, and shoulder-rounding of epic proportions. One very useful pose to help iron out the shoulder space is downward-facing dog. But that pose alone isn't enough. And Lauren and I know how hard it is to roll your mat out in the early months of new motherhood (mine collected dust in the corner for a goooood while.)  That's why I LOVE these 3 moves, explained below: they take all of 10 minutes to do (at most), you can do them at the wall with no mat or other props, you don't need to be in yoga clothes, and they will honestly, truly, actually help your shoulders feel better / stronger / looser in all the best ways.

    STANDING WALL SHOULDER PULLS

    Breastfeeding Blog, breastfeeding clothes, breastfeeding dress, breastfeeding tops

    This may look deceptively easy, but it requires some muscular engagement. Stand facing a wall, close enough that you can let your head drop onto the wall. Bring your hands up, a little wider than shoulder width apart. Take a breath in, and as you exhale, contract the muscles in your arms and shoulders by pressing in with your hands and pulling DOWN, as if you were *trying* to slide your hands down the wall, but they don't actually move. You could contract and release with your breath a few times (inhale, soften; exhale, contract) or you could simply hold the contraction for a few rounds of breath.

    WALL CHEST STRETCH

    Breastfeeding Blog, breastfeeding clothes, breastfeeding dress, breastfeeding tops

    Stand next to the wall, feet parallel. Standing closer to the wall will result in more sensation, so if you need to go slower here, step a little farther from the wall. Reach your arm closes to the wall back and press it into the wall, palm facing in, thumb up. You can bring your other hand to the wall, in front of you (as I'm doing in the photo) or your can wrap your hand around your ribcage closest to the wall and gently pull your ribcage forward. That feels pretty nice. Stay here for anywhere between 5 rounds of breath to 2-3 minutes. Repeat on the other side. BONUS: tip your chin slightly up and away from the wall as you hold to get a sweet little neck stretch.

    DOWNWARD-FACING WALL PRESS

    Breastfeeding Blog, breastfeeding clothes, breastfeeding dress, breastfeeding topsypga 4

    Stand facing the wall and fold forward at the waist, making your body into an L-shape. Walk your hands down the wall until they are parallel to your shoulders. (If your hands are higher up than your shoulders, there is more pressure on your rotator cuff which may feel a little pinchy.) Find softness in your knees or even bend them a bit, as I'm doing in the photos. In the starting position, keep your arms straight. You might squirm a bit here and do cat-cow movements with your spine or rock your hips side to side.

    For part II of this movement, inhale and begin to bend your elbows outward, pressing your hands into the wall. As you exhale, straighten your arms again, squeezing your shoulder blades toward one another as you do. (These are essentially down-dog wall push-ups!) Repeat between 5-20 times.

     

    When your shoulders need some love, opening, and attention, try this little sequence. Do you have another favorite move or pose for shoulder relief? (Aside from Netflix and wine; we already know about that one.) We'd love to hear your tricks, tips, and favorite poses for shoulder opening. And if you try this sequence and love it, let us know that, too!

     

    ****************

    Read more from Alexandra at Lifelong Yoga | Whole Mama Yoga | Facebook | Instagram